Don't Look Back?

I hear it said a lot to people who suffer with depression, that you shouldn't dwell on the past, but look to the future. Whilst I may agree with the first part of that advice, it shouldn't be seen as a total ban. As for the second part of the sentence, about the worst thing you can advise someone feeling that going on is too overwhelming, is that they should focus on that future they fear. But this blog is mainly about anxiety, not depression. I say mainlybecause what I want to write today actually applies to people undertaking any kind of therapy, but which is often overlooked or ignored. You want to get better. You are trying as hard as you can to keep moving forward towards some kind of 'normal' life, but at times it looks as if there is so far to go that you will never get there. How do you give yourself the courage and the incentive to keep at it? In my youth I used to spend a great deal of time walking in the Lake District; we called it hiking in those days; I don't know if that's still the case. The Lake District isn't just full of lakes. It is also a mountain region. so walking in the Lake District usually involves climbing up one side of a mountain in order to climb down the other side - and then do it all over again to the next mountain. Even if you are fit climbing a mountain is hard work. With every step you lift your whole body weight, plus whatever pack you are carrying, a few inches higher up the slope. Say your step is ten inches and the summit of the mountain is 1500 feet higher than the point where you sart, then you are going to have to lift your body weight another ten inches up the mountain 1800 times before you get to the top. Hard work. The way we dealt with this was to take a rest from time time to time to get our breath back. Not for two long though, or it took that much more determination to set off again. So short pauses punctuated the ascent and made it more easily achievable. But what was also important was what we did duringthose pauses. We turned round and we looked back in the direction we had come. And that was when we could see just how far we had already come - the tiny farmhouse at the foot of the fell: the ant-like people down by the side of the lake. That was a tremendous encouragement, and so off we went again with renewed vigour. It's just the same when you're struggling to make headway in therapy, every step so laborious and demanding. Stop. Pause. Have a rest and get your mental breath back. And take a good long look back at how far you"ve come. See how your progress is much greater than you had imagined or given yourself credit for - and give yourself that credit now. While I'm on this theme, just a word or two about the climb that still awaits you. I would look up and I could see the summit and the sky above and beyond it, and on I would go thinking "Not far now". Then I'd get near the summit only to see that it wasn't the summit at all. Simply, the gradient had changed so that although the next stretch was easier because it was less steep, before too long the mountain reared up again and mockingly looked down at me. The worst of these times was when you actually had to go steeply down into gully and then slog up the other side just to get back to the height you were at now. It's the same in therapy. So often it feels as if you are nearly there and then you get a different perspective and realise that the journey is longer than you think; and sometimes you have to lose height to stay on track and then climb it all over again. That's another reason why pause to get your breath and look back are important.